Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Ponytail Holder

I love my children. That's an understatement. I am in love with them....Caleb James, Lauren Grace, and Audrey Jane. I am confident every mother would agree when I say that they are as important to my life as the very air I breathe. There are so many times they say something or do something that I wish I could capture in a jar and save forever. Whether it's mis-pronouncing a word (ex: poplicles, rather than popsicles), or surprsing me by understanding more than I ever imagined. I am more aware of these moments than ever before...one of the many things I've "gained" from the past several months.

Last night as I was getting ready for bed in our bathroom, I saw Caleb was playing with something in his hands in front of the vanity area. He turned around to face me and held up a simple brown ponytail holder that he had found in one of the drawers. He so sweetly and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, but you don't wear this anymore, because you don't have your hair right now, right?" I smiled and told him that was right...and quickly reminded him that my hair would be back again one day. He smiled at me and was satisfied with that. I just wanted to hug him. They are so used to everything right now....sure, they don't want their mommy to be sick or in the hospital; but bless their hearts, they are so accepting of so many of the "little" details that are hand in hand with this diagnosis. The Lord has used that little ponytail holder as a reminder to me that although things are not quite normal right now....it's going to be okay. I'm not even remotely concerned about my hair coming back. It is so far beyond that. I just want my hair back so that life is as it should be for my children. They are God's most precious gift to us....I am so thankful for all of the capture-in-a-jar moments that we have with them!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Thank You, Lord!

The fact that I am able to be on the computer tonight, is proof that the Lord has heard and answered prayer! I came home yesterday afternoon, after another completed week of chemo. Although my care in the cancer center is extremely detailed and wonderful, it is always so nice to return home....to my own bed, my own beautiful family, just my own haven.

During the previous treatment week, we were blessed to have Doug's parents, as well as my sister Michelle stay with the children while I was gone. Couldn't have done it without them! It is just such an encouragement to me to know our children are being loved and cared for by family and friends, even despite the unwanted circumstances of mommy being away.

This week we were once again blessed by the incredible friendship of Melissa, who stayed with our three little indians Monday and Tuesday while Doug was either with me or working. Thank you...for all you did! They loved having you and Isaiah here! Our dear friends Tony and Ann then arrived late Tuesday night, and took over the fort the rest of the week. They will be here through tomorrow morning. They have gone above and beyond the call of duty. Then on top of all of the blessings I've briefly mentioned....we have been blessed by meals every night this week! Thank you to each one of you. I am so humbled, grateful, and in awe of the family of God. Thank you, Lord, for meeting our needs!

After learning of the nauseated transition I had when I returned home from my previous week of chemo, the doctors put together a preventative line-up of anti-nausea meds available for me. I have slept the day away, but that is so much more welcomed than how I felt last time. Thank you Lord!!! What we know right now, is that my PET scan will be Friday, December 5. My follow-up with my doctor will be December 11. I'm not sure enough yet of the game plan to follow, but please be assured I will share details as we learn them. In the mean time, we keep trusting, believing, and praying together!



Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Audrey's First Birthday Party (October)

Maybe no one will notice....

What? Uhh...I'm not sure where the blue bow on my head came from...

Watch out everyone...this horsey can zoom!

Audrey's cupcake and candle....she was a little confused.

And she was done....just needed a little icing!

My Sweet Love

Birthday Girl was so ready for bed!

Caleb's Pirate Party (October)

Ending the evening fishing with Daddy with his new fishing pole and tackle box

Caleb and Lauren (acually Mr. & Mrs. Incredible) formulating a game plan for the...

The treasure chest pinata....filled with gold coins (actually chocolate coins!)

Caleb's second take on blowing out the candles...Lauren beat him to it the first time!

The pirates were sinking in the quicksand!

The most handsome pirate I've ever seen!
(Hope he doesn't see this...)

Caleb loved his new fishing pole!

Pirate Lauren

The treasure map in case we got lost

We took the birthday boy out for dinner on his actual birthday...
I love that he, who has his Daddy's personality, happily wore this.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Hold Fast

I cannot believe two weeks have passed since my last chemo treatment, and the time is almost here for me to return for round two. I am praying that the week goes as smoothly as the last time, and I hope the side effects that follow are minimal. I did have a rough time when I returned home last time, but thankfully that only lasted a couple of days. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of the prayers that I know are surrounding me. God has blessed me with such wonderful friends and family. Not one day goes by that I am not reminded of the love and support that is surrounding my family.

I wanted to share with you something that blessed my heart today. As I was driving home this morning after having routine blood work done at the hospital, I decided I wanted to listen to Mercy Me. I appreciate so many of their songs....my favorite being Bring the Rain. Another song that I have grown to love is Hold Fast. As I drove in the van by myself, I turned the music up louder than usual.....I really wanted to soak it all in. I joined in and sang with Mercy Me as loud as I could. (Thankfully all windows were up!) I was just moved by the words of the song, and the message that it shares. I felt so strongly that I wanted to share this with you. I don't know exactly who is reading this right now. Whether you are a Christian who is facing a trial in your life, or someone who is lost and searching for Truth.....I want you to know this song was written for you! It brought me to tears today as I listened. My favorite words in the song are "One thing greater than my strife is His grasp..." How true this is! He has been holding me tightly, and I know He will never let me go!

Be sure and click on the song below on the playlist (scroll all the way to bottom of page), turn your volume up....and be blessed!

Trusting and Believing,

Hold Fast

To everyone who’s hurting
To those who’ve had enough
To all the undeserving
That should cover all of us
Please do not let go
I promise there is hope

Hold fast
Help is on the way
Hold fast
He’s come to save the day
What I’ve learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife
Is His grasp
So hold fast

Will this season ever pass
Can we stop this ride
Will we see the sun at last
Or could this be our lot in life
Please do not let go
I promise you there’s hope


You may think you’re all alone
And there’s no way that anyone could know
What you’re going through
But if you only hear one thing
Just understand that we are all the same
Searching for the truth

The truth of what we’re soon to face
Unless someone comes to take our place
Is there anyone
All we want is to be free
Free from our captivity Lord
Here He comes

Hold fast
Help is on the way
Hold fast
He's come to save the day
What I've learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife
Is His grasp
So hold fast

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Chemo Next Week

Melissa will be back in the hospital on Monday for another round of chemo. I'm anticipating her to be in again probably through Friday. I know she and Doug would appreciate your continued prayers for them.

Sweet sister, Miss, we're praying for your healing and believing with you that it will happen!!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

She's feeling better!

I just got off the phone with her, and it was good to hear her sweet voice. She's still sounds pretty weak, probably also related to not being able to eat much. But...she's feeling better too! And that's awesome!

And Doug is stirring up some mashed potatoes for her, as that was something that sounded appetizing to her. (Way to go, Doug! :) It makes me thankful that she has such a good hubby, who's been doing such a wonderful job taking care of her and the kids, and thankful for my other sister Michelle for being out there to help now as well!

Thank you SO much for your prayers!

Still Feeling Sick

First of all, thanks so much for your prayers for Melissa! I know she and Doug appreciate them very much! Also thanks to all friends her have been encouraging her along the way, whether in person, through phone calls, or messages via her email, blog or facebook. I know she has commented to me every day about how she heard from this person, or someone had emailed her. Thank you for that!

As of this morning, she has still been sick--pretty nauseous and dizzy. It is all expected side effects of her chemo. She is pretty much staying in bed and resting, as she is also so fatigued. This has been a good morning for her to rest as Doug took the kids to church this morning, and now they are at the park. (What a great daddy!)

In light of how she is feeling, please hold off on phone calls to her until she's no longer as nauseous. I know the peace and quiet helps somewhat. I know I've missed talking to her myself. Your messages through email, facebook or this blog would still be so appreciated as they'll be waiting for her when she's feeling up to reading them.

We appreciate all of you!!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Please Pray!!

Michelle just called me to tell me to pray for Missy right now. She had been feeling okay, but the chemo has kicked in some full-blown nausea this evening, and it sounds like she is feeling really, really sick from it. That's about all Michelle was able to tell me right now, as she's also helping with the kids right now.

So along with praying that the chemo is effective, please pray that the nausea lessens for her!

Thanks in advance!!