Saturday, September 6, 2008

Thoughts from Melissa...

It was nearly six months ago that my world was changed forever with the news that a mass had been found in between my heart and lung. It was nearly six months ago that my appreciation of life increased and my love of family intensified beyond understanding. I have never written yet on this blog that my sweet sister created for me. I have wanted to so many different times, but my heart and mind were so full of thoughts….I felt like I could never organize them well enough. I have really been thinking lately about how grateful I am for all of you who keep up with the updates that my sister posts. I wish I could look each one of you in the eyes and say thank you for your interest in my life, for your ongoing prayers for my family, and for your support and love which has surrounded me.

On Monday, September 8th, at noon, I will be having another CAT scan which will let us know the next step. I will learn if the six treatments of chemo were sufficient in helping my cancer to disappear, or if I will need more. Up until the last round of chemo, I have had the attitude that if I need more….bring it on now. I’m already bald…let’s just get it done. (By the way, I have a new wig, which is so cute! I’m allowed to say that, since it’s not my real hair, right?) Then, after my last chemo, I began begging the Lord to let it be done. I had never been so nauseated prior to that day with my treatments. In the middle of getting sick, I remember being so grateful it hadn’t been like this every time. The Lord has been so faithful in giving me the strength that I need. I wanted to write to you before we know the results of the scan. I wanted to tell you from the bottom of my heart how grateful I am for the prayers that have sustained me. I wanted to tell you how much I am praising the Lord for walking with me during this valley of my life…I want you to know that this thanks and praise does not rest upon hearing good news. “I will sing praise, I will lift my voice…I will sing praise, I’ve made my choice. I will sing praise in all I do…I will sing praise to You.”

I don’t know yet how the Lord is going to use this. “This” being the diagnosis of Non-Hodgkin's’s lymphoma. I know there is never a good time to be diagnosed with a disease, but I can tell you the timing of my diagnosis could not have been more surprising and crazy. Thirty one years of age….a wonderful husband who was on the verge of completing his training as a surgeon…three beautiful children four years and under….about to move to a brand new city where we had no friends, which meant we were leaving our incredible Parkview church family and close friends in Dayton……like I said, there is never a good time to learn you have cancer- but talk about the shock of your life! I’m trusting that God will use this somehow. I want Him to, in whatever way He chooses.

I will write more later. At least I have cleared a little of what has been on my heart and mind. Again, thank you for your prayers and support. Please don’t ever think for one minute that any prayer is said in vain….He is hearing each one and answering them according to His plan.

With love,
Melissa

11 comments:

Katrina said...

Hey Melissa, thanks for sharing! It is good hearing from you! You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. =)

Cameron said...

I have been following your journey since it began. I have not yet posted. But, none the less, you have been in my constant thoughts and prayers. It was great to read a post from you today. And I just wanted to tell you that even though we do not know one another, I will continue to pray and to have faith that God heals you in this journey. You are a strong woman and you have an incredibly amazing and beautiful family. Lean on those around you.

Mary
WV

www.marcarcam3.blogspot.com

Kristi said...

Thanks for so openly sharing your thoughts Melissa. We will be thinking of you tomorrow. Hope you are getting adjusted to life in Indy and that things are falling into place. We miss you guys!

Carrie said...

Hey beautiful!! You are one of the most amazing people that I have ever know. I consider it such a privaledge to call you friend!! I will be praying for you every spare minute tomorrow that the scan is good news!! Visiting with you this sumer was so wonderful... I so wish that we would have done it sooner:) Jenn and I will have to take a roadtrip sometime soon to come and visit with you there!!

I LOVE YOU,
Carrie

Jessica mommy to Alex/ RTS said...

Thinking of you today

The Burgess Family said...

saying prayers for you today

thethornburyfamily said...

Each time I talk to you, you are such a blessing to me. You have faced this fight with the best outlook anyone possibly could have and I am so blessed to call you my friend as well. I wish so badly I could visit with you soon!! I will give you a call soon to find out how everything went with your scan. I love you and am praying for you!!
Julie

StacyandChad said...

Thinking of you and praying for you today, Melissa! May God's presence be evident to you today!

Geron said...

You are and have always been such a blessing. Our family is praying and thinking of you.

lisamichellearnold said...

you are amazing
i have never once heard you complain...ever
you inspire me
you are the epitome of grace under fire
i see jesus in you and
i love you beyond words

you are my sister and my hero!!!!!

Amy Hoover said...

Hey Melissa! It was so great seeing you last Friday, in Wal-Mart of all places! :) I have really enjoyed reading what Jennifer has done for you with this blog. She has done a wonderful job with this talking about the whole process. You are such an inspiration to me showing such grace through this storm. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers daily.
Love,
Amy