It was nearly six months ago that my world was changed forever with the news that a mass had been found in between my heart and lung. It was nearly six months ago that my appreciation of life increased and my love of family intensified beyond understanding. I have never written yet on this blog that my sweet sister created for me. I have wanted to so many different times, but my heart and mind were so full of thoughts….I felt like I could never organize them well enough. I have really been thinking lately about how grateful I am for all of you who keep up with the updates that my sister posts. I wish I could look each one of you in the eyes and say thank you for your interest in my life, for your ongoing prayers for my family, and for your support and love which has surrounded me.
On Monday, September 8th, at noon, I will be having another CAT scan which will let us know the next step. I will learn if the six treatments of chemo were sufficient in helping my cancer to disappear, or if I will need more. Up until the last round of chemo, I have had the attitude that if I need more….bring it on now. I’m already bald…let’s just get it done. (By the way, I have a new wig, which is so cute! I’m allowed to say that, since it’s not my real hair, right?) Then, after my last chemo, I began begging the Lord to let it be done. I had never been so nauseated prior to that day with my treatments. In the middle of getting sick, I remember being so grateful it hadn’t been like this every time. The Lord has been so faithful in giving me the strength that I need. I wanted to write to you before we know the results of the scan. I wanted to tell you from the bottom of my heart how grateful I am for the prayers that have sustained me. I wanted to tell you how much I am praising the Lord for walking with me during this valley of my life…I want you to know that this thanks and praise does not rest upon hearing good news. “I will sing praise, I will lift my voice…I will sing praise, I’ve made my choice. I will sing praise in all I do…I will sing praise to You.”
I don’t know yet how the Lord is going to use this. “This” being the diagnosis of Non-Hodgkin's’s lymphoma. I know there is never a good time to be diagnosed with a disease, but I can tell you the timing of my diagnosis could not have been more surprising and crazy. Thirty one years of age….a wonderful husband who was on the verge of completing his training as a surgeon…three beautiful children four years and under….about to move to a brand new city where we had no friends, which meant we were leaving our incredible Parkview church family and close friends in Dayton……like I said, there is never a good time to learn you have cancer- but talk about the shock of your life! I’m trusting that God will use this somehow. I want Him to, in whatever way He chooses.
I will write more later. At least I have cleared a little of what has been on my heart and mind. Again, thank you for your prayers and support. Please don’t ever think for one minute that any prayer is said in vain….He is hearing each one and answering them according to His plan.